~Myndless~ Ramblings of the 'Same Old, Same Old'

While surfing DBSKALWAYS, the website I fancy, I came across an article that was shared from another site called JYJFanTalk.  This post was borrowed from the original author of another blog.  While reading it, I was getting the notion that she's:  single all her life, doesn't wear make-up, and wonders why her dating life sucks.  So I was like "Yeah, that kinda sounds like me."  But then she got into a subject that most fans tend to push into the back of their minds until it is brought to their attention:  any member of a group they follow becoming romantically involved with someone.  And to make it a rather 'harsh reality', she used TVXQ/JYJ as an example. 

Now I have heard this said many times:  "The members need love too."  And I am one to agree with that.  It's just...well...I wanted to be that one special girl to administer that love (to Changmin, of course).  After reading posts like that, I usually get that sense of "Well, dang...now what am I supposed to do?" or "Should I just give up on that notion of sharing my life with him since it seems so useless to keep wishing?"  I get upsetting/melancholy thoughts whenever I read things of that nature.  And it sticks around for quite some time.  The worst things are when people make comments like "Oh, I'm glad he/she is finally getting some/tapping that".  -_-;; 

Of course, I'm gonna use Changmin as my example because I love him.  Actually I am still at a loss to even say it is love or should I call it lust?  Anyway...so, when he does get a girlfriend, how am I gonna act?  Well, chances are he's probably got one now.  I know he's too handsome to stay single for very long.  And since he's so ninja about his private life, it's rather difficult to know for sure.  But if it is announced publicly, I may be quite upset.  But if it were just ar normal girl, I may be less upset than if it were a celebrity.  However, if it is announced that he got secretly married and has a child already...guess how I'm gonna feel?  :(   But it's not like I'm gonna be so mand that I'll find a way to harm their loved ones.  I don't think I'd have the gall to do that.  However, I'd probably forever wish I was in her place at that given moment.  But then I should also think of it this way:  If I do get into a relationship with Changmin...imagine how many hearts I'll break because of it.  :(

Maybe it is because with the help of the internet, I am exposed too much to Changmin or it is easier to find things on him.  Back in the day, before internet, fans didn't have much exposure to their celebrities and eventually outgrew them to an extent.  I was reminded of that because a lady I follow on Twitter named 'LinzerDinzerTV' (or something like that) had mentioned that in one of her Youtube videos. Not only that, but being single all your life and then emotionally attaching yourself to someone who is not in your immediate reach may not have been the best idea.  I have been told that in the past, but I figured that it wouldn't be so bad.  And most of the time, it isn't...so long as you don't let negative and discouraging words get to you.  I also have this weird view on relationships.  If you'd like to hear more about that, just let me know.  ^^;;

Hm...maybe I need to be a famous celebrity or staff member to date him?  That seems to be the only way to get close to him.  -_-  Sometimes I wonder how that one lady married that famous actor.  I believe it was Tom Cruise and Kate Holmes (?)  Or how the Prince William and Kate got together.  I figured that if they were able to do it, so can I...as well as others who continue to believe.  Other times I wonder how it would be if Changmin were just an average college student and we met that way.  Would I still like him the way I do now?  By looking at this pic:

I would say so.  ^_^  But I'm also sure that he would've been snatched up much faster if he were a normal guy.  Bleh, listen to me babble about this...

To sum things up:

1. I do want them to have the chance to date, but at the same time I know I'll dread it for a while
2. Being emotionally attachted to a man who is thousands of miles away and not being able to do much about it really sucks
3. I didn't intend for this post to be full of complaints  ^^;;
4. If Changmin ever reads my posts, he may be freaked out by my behavior
5. I'd still like to keep my dream alive in hopes that it will come true. 

So, with this whole post typed, I'm certain that you all know now that articles involving a heart throb in a romantic relationship will put me down for a while.  A few words of encouragement are always nice though.  I do know that chances are VERY slim of that ideal romance.  I'm not sure if I can call my behavior 'possessive', but it's probably in that area.   Sometimes I wonder if I have derailed myself as a fan...focusing more on their personal life rather than their musical life.  Fuu...

Well, I shall cut this extremely long post short.  I am sure your eyes are like @_@.  So, until next time~!