As Another Year Passes...

I know it's not even the end of the year, but usually whenever SM artists come to the U.S., it's usually once a year.  Thus, I say 'another year'.  I bet you know what I may write about, huh?  Well, this past weekend fans in southern California were blessed with two Kpop concerts: SM Town and MBC Google Kpop.  It's times like this that I REALLY wish I lived in California.  OTL  Anyway....

SM Town was a great success from what I'm gathering.  A good chunk of the artists came over to perform, and many fanaccounts were made.  Twitter was exploding with updates from fans that were there.  I was okay with it until I read in my timeline on Twitter that Changmin and Kyuhyun sang a duet.  It was Bruno Mars's 'Just the Way You Are'.  My first thought was "Changmin AND Kyuhyun, my two biases of TVXQ and SuJu, singing a duet?  AWESOME!!"  But then, I read that they were singing to a fangirl...while on a bended knee...while holding her hands...and they hugged her at the end.  Needless to say that I was really, really jealous of her.  It's great that she was an OT5 fan, but I still can't help but feel upset.  OTL  That's like one of my biggest wishes being lived through another person--of course being at the concert would be like having my wish being lived through thousands of fangirls (but to be up on stage, being serenaded to?).  I'm sorry if I sound like I'm bashing her though.  But I thought I'd just express what I'm feeling.  It's just that...everytime something like this happens, it feels like my wish to meet Changmin like that diminishes more and more with each passing year.  I know she was also chosen at random too, and for a while I wondered what it was that made her stand out.  It was interesting when she thanked God for this blessing, and I was all like:  "That's all well and good, but...  m(.__.)m"  The reason is because for a while, I've been thinking that God doesn't want me to see him.  For example, it is rare to dream of Changmin and when I do, most of the time he's ignoring me.  And of course I'm stuck here in the South for who knows how long...and I don't see Kpop coming here anytime soon.  OK LIFE, I GET IT!!!  I'm not allowed to see my ideal man in reality.  I also am aware that I'm not the only one who may think this way, and that I should be greatful that they're even touring the U.S. more because other countries have yet to be touched.  I've gotten friends to tell me that I'll get my chance one day, and it helped raise my mood.  But I felt bad that I made them feel pity for me because I'm not strong (or sane) enough to 'be honestly happy' for her like some others are.  Being a fangirl is hard, but being one that really, really likes their bias is harder.  But whatever....think of me as you will.  I hate being labeled as some crazy fan, but I guess that's what I am.  :x

Anyway, I did watch the MBC Google concert via live stream on Youtube.  The lagging was really nerve-wrecking, but I was happy to see Yunho and Changmin perform.  Yet while I was watching it on the stream, and even though it was live...it still isn't the same as actually being there. 

Well, there you have it.  Yet another entry about something related to Changmin, b*tching about why I can't have him, how lucky other fangirls are, etc.  Ms. Lucky Fangirl Who Got to Hug Changmin and Kyuhyun....you are EXTREMELY lucky, and know that while I am jealous/envious, I will not send you messages of hate or threats of any kind.  When I'm mad at people close to guys I like, I complain and I find that I may end up self-hating in the end.  I

Just to throw in here:  I'm pretty sure that if any of my biases (especially Changmin) stumble upon this post, they will shake their heads in shame.  .___.  In any case, peace out.             

'Papadol' And The Mixed Feelings I Get From It

So, lately I've been watching a few dramas.  Right now, I'm watching one called 'Papa wa Idol' a.k.a. 'Papadol'.  It stars Ryo Nishikido and is currently being aired in Japan.  It's more of a romantic comedy where Nishikido stars as himself and portrays what life would be like if an idol got married.  It's a remake of a previous Jdrama, but the roles are reversed: the idol is a woman who marries an average man.  Also in this drama, virtually everyone plays as themselves. 

So far the drama is very interesting as I've never seen one with this kind of plot.  However, it also makes me kind of sad.  :(  The reason is because it makes me wonder yet again about this sensitive situation about a famous person's relationships.  It's kind of like: "I didn't realize all of this could happen" granted he/she dates an average person.  One quote from the movie (Nishikido's manager had said to him): "Your job is to sell dreams to the fans" or "You can't get married yet.  What will your fans or even your members think?"  Well, these may not be the accurate quotes.  ^^;;  In a sense, I think that this drama may be something that all fans should take a look at.  It may make you wonder...could you handle it when your bias gets married?  I know that I may have a poor reaction to the news if my top biases were even said to be dating.  XD  On the flipside, could one even handle being able to date a celebrity after seeing all the stuff they have to do in this drama?  I probably would still want to.  ^o^  But all joking aside...this drama so far is entertaining, but also melancholic to me.  It makes me think about letting go of the idea that I have any romantic feelings for any of my biases so that if (or when) that time comes of dating/marriage announcements from them, at least I won't have a mental breakdown or soemthing.  I always say that I want them to be happy, but in the same breath I want to be that one that makes them happy--more so in Changmin's case--or at least meet them when they're single.  XD  Saa... 

Let's see what else will come out of this drama~!  Until next time.   

What's Up? & Introducing Another Bias!

It's been a while, hasn't it?  I apologize for that.  Half of the problem was laziness (when is it not?) and the other half was due to the lack of comments.  There were times when I considered just getting rid of this blog because I was feeling that the stuff I was typing was not interesting.  But I suppose that eventually more commenters will come.  I just need to hang in there.

While I was on 'hiatus' so much had happened.  But I can't remember all of it.  ^^;;  Thus, I shall just blog about how a certain bias of mine has somewhat recently messed up my straight-laced, airtight bias list.  His name:  Ryo Nishikido!

Hehe...there is a (stupid) reason that he became my bias in the first place. Can you guess what is is?  >:D

He's one of my biases that I kind of kept on the back-burner.  Actually, most of my biases are in that spot because I just talk about Changmin and Junnosuke all the time.  It may be quite unfair, I know.  But anyway, I've found myself spazzing over this man for over the past two weeks.  The crazy thing is that he's been somewhat the subject of about three or four of my dreams...within the span of a week.  o.O  I guess that can account from me watching 'Inu wo Kau to Iu Koto' where he played the lead male role as a salaryman/father.  I was mainly watching it for Junnosuke, but then I was like: "Hey, Nishikido is in this too~!" since I've never seen him act.  He's pretty good!  But then again, I'd say that about any actor really.  The only slightly uncomfortable feeling I have for him right now is that since I'm starting to spazz over him, I fear that I will gradually push Changmin and (recent spazzing bias) Junnosuke from their #1 and #2 spots.  That is something I do not want to happen.  .___.  Pretty lame, huh?  

So, a little about the guy...he was born in Osaka, Japan.  He is part of Johnny's Entertainment as a member of Kanjani8.  He used to be part of NEWS as well, but he recently left (that was the group I found him in).  He can play guitar, and I'm sure he's well known for a signature mole on his chin.  When it comes to his personality, he's said to be quite a meanie.  .___.  And I don't think it's like 'Changmin' mean either (which I have grown accustom to).  I read that he made Ueda--a member of KAT-TUN--quite upset at one point.  He also sounds like quite the ladies man too.  It's rather awkward how he's even one of my biases!  But then again, I'm on a quest to learn more about each of them, so I may have a few that would totally contradict my standard bias.  Did that make any sense?  XD  But despite this, I have the thought that he might be a nice guy.  At least I felt that way when watching the drama I stated earlier.  But as with all celebrities, the only way to find out how they truly are is if you're actually around them. 

Well, that's pretty much it for this post.  Until next time~!  ^o^