There seems to be once again a lull in my fangirling for TVXQ. I haven't been this...fizzled since back in November of last year. I eventually got over that when I came to know some really great fans that support the five. :) However, just last week, something happened within the JYJ side of the TVXQ fandom that set off ripples. One of the dancers, Telisha, released her first single for the Kpop industry titled "Our Secret". Not only that, but she did it under the name 'Telisu'. So, I heard the song, and instantly thought: "Oh dear...why does it sound like it's about Junsu?" =.=;; Don't get me wrong, she is really nice (heck, she responded to me a few times on Twitter), but my thoughts come because she seems to favor Junsu very much. But then again, they could be about someone else that she works with. Anyway, fans--ESPECIALLY Junsu-biased fans--got really upset. On the other hand, there are some that actually wouldn't mind the coupling. In fact, I think I wrote an entry about this before.
I am somewhere in the middle I suppose. I can understand the jealousy that the fans may feel because if it were Changmin, I know I'd be jealous too. In fact, it is suprising that I'm making a big deal about this because Junsu isn't even my bias! >_< But when it gets to the point of fans sending her threatening things, then it's not so good anymore. Then there are times when I wouldn't mind it because it tells me that they're into girls with a little more color. Not to mention that it's much easier for any staff member, other celeb, or whatnot to be closer to them than just a lowly fan like me, so why do I even bother? :( However, I find it a bit aggrivating that the fans who don't mind it say for others to grow up. I know that he is in his 20's and such and can do whatever he wants, but I am also in my 20s. I know that's not very relavent, but yeah. I also find it a bit upsetting when they'd say "Lol, I bet he's getting some from her" or something like that. I know that they may not be virgins anymore, but it's still rather harsh to bring up such things...especially in the case of Changmin with me. :/ You see, my view on this is that I'd be happy for them to date, but at the same time I can't help but feel sad/jealous that it's not me. But I guess that not ever having any relationship with a boy has turned me into the way I am now. And since I see these guys not only a celebrities, but also as any other man I'd want to date, it may be a problem. So, in a sense, I am pretty much aggrivated with both fans who take their jealousy too far and fans who say to grow up (which constantly keeps the issue around). And whenever I see or hear about anything related to this (i.e.- pics, fanfics, and comments regarding whatever stance they have on this) I get slightly annoyed/fizzled. For that, I apologize.
Sometimes I think that the whole lawsuit is taking it's toll on fans. It's been almost 2 years since it began. Any little thing about any member can set off a fan. I think that is true for me as well. Maybe I'm so wrapped up in this. It seems to be causing friction with my sister (who seems become less interested in TVXQ as time passes). In fact, I think maybe a few are becoming less interested. In my personal opinion, I miss the year 2007. I was fresh with Kpop and things were very peaceful. I had lots of people to spazz with and it was all fun. As a fan at that time, I think I was really good. And Kpop didn't seem so...blah.
This is why I may need a break. I know that I'm not going to hold up to it though, but if I can get a job I hope that it will at least help to keep me from being on the computer too much. In the end, I'm trying to decipher what kind of fan I am at this point...though I know it looks pretty obvious. But I really beg to differ. I may be very crazy-obsessed, but when it comes to the types of issues I explained above...I may complain and cry and whatnot, but I don't think I'd threaten or anything. Just stadning idly by and being upset for a couple of days at the lucky girl may be enough. Ah...such is the hopeless romantic...
There are times when I just feel like abandoning Kpop altogether, but I never want to leave TVXQ/JYJ (as well as other formadible groups) behind since they're like some sort of big interest of mine. If I can rekindle my 2007 fangirl self, that would be very good. I know that these issues will bug me for a little while longer, but eventually will dissolve (hopefully). For now, I shall probably stick around with Changmin stuff for a while. ^^;; Until next time, peace out.
Myndless. I apologize. I didn't realize where you were with this. So no more mention from me. O.K. Cha
ReplyDeleteI agree so much with you, ~Myndless.~ I have read comments like that also, even some saying "you know you`re never going to get close to him, so why don`t you just *insert your own suggestion here* (like you, I`m getting tired of relating to all the rudeness.)!" It wasn`t even directed at me and I still went "whoa." Maybe because it`s stating the obvious, which I know it is, but also because I can`t believe the need to hurt another fan like that. But that`s what happening - all the time, right now as I write this, and these words aren`t going to change anything. Yet I`m still writing, because I`m trying to make sense of things. It`s hard though. What has become of us? When did we become enemies of eachother? When did it become okay to deliberately hurt someone even though we don`t approve of their ways? (Yep, thinking of Telisha again. I don`t like her voice or the song or her method of pursuing a musical career, but stating an opinion and threatening someone are - I hope! - still two different things.) Ah, I do believe we are in much the same place these days. For me, I think it started to unravel at the time of SMTown Paris because I started realizing that my bias is never going to know or care about me the way I care about him. Of course I have always known this, but the fact that the two of them were so close yet so far away really got to me. It`s not a unique feeling. It`s one that I share with a lot of fans. But the trials of the last week add to the sadness, and I find myself reaching for other CDs than DBSK`s - which is not good as we are supposed to run DBSK sites, right? Well, I`m surviving well enough really, I know of a lot of fans who aren`t stans or haters - but venturing out of that comfort zone has become rather a dangerous pursuit, and I don`t think it was meant to be that way. KPop is supposed to make the world bigger for us - but these days, it is growing smaller and more scary.
ReplyDeleteI may follow your example and let it all be for a while - no matter what you choose to do, I hope you will always be happy. I admire you. Love YF
@Cha: It's no worries. Your editorial about her is similar to what I think. It's just really weird how she's doing stuff. More like very sudden. :o
ReplyDelete@YF: I know the feeling when they come to the States. So close and yet so far away. I'm sure fans have kepts others in check before, but their words this time are quite harsh. I think that most of the outspoken fans who oppose Telisha are the younger ones, so we really shouldn't be so hard on them (I guess). And most of the fans who don't care have most likely had a boyfriend before, so I don't know if they truly understand how fans who've been eternally single feel. Truth be told that we probably need to be with a real boyfriend, but I can't really find anyone that matches the criteria that Changmin fits. He's set the standards. :3
In my experience as a fan, I feel that I may have come to the point where I feel very possesive of the members when a girl is involved. I'm not vocal about it, but I do complain/get upset. I wouldn't wish anything horrible upon her, and I know that they are free to love whoever they want, but...it just hurts. Not only as a fan, but as a woman who feels that her optimistic dreams of ever meeting him are continually crushed (as I say quite often ^^;). Not only do I think that getting a job could alleviate some of the pressures, but meeting them in real life could maybe mellow me out. ^_^ Like my friend, ExpiredxMilk told me..."don't fall out of love with the members" and she feels closest to them when she is not on the internet and listening to TVXQ music.
ReplyDeleteI meant to say when she is off the internet and when she is listening to their music. ^^;;
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